This is why I must not be allowed to travel in space.
Continue reading “Welcome to Mars”Welcome to Mars
A Few Bad Apples…
The actual phrase is “a few bad apples spoil the batch,” not “a few bad apples, so let’s make pie anyway, it’ll be delicious, what could possibly go wrong?”
Continue reading “A Few Bad Apples…”A Message from the Future?
I have concluded that I have been visited by a time traveler doctor.
Continue reading “A Message from the Future?”Shadow Talk
“Brutal honesty” is rarely honest and always brutal.
“Cloaking Paradigm Activated, Captain.”
Is it weird that the people who seem the most pious are the ones you later discover have 150 petabytes of unspeakable horrors on their computer?
Continue reading ““Cloaking Paradigm Activated, Captain.””If Wishes Were Horses…
I have been thinking for a long time now that the vast majority of “three wish” stories are to encourage people to remain happy in their stations.
Continue reading “If Wishes Were Horses…”Location * 3
A god who can be worshiped from a closet doesn’t need a tax haven.
And one who cannot be worshiped from a closet ain’t worth shit.
Not Doing Their Due Diligence
Few people who claim to be Christian understand just how beautiful Satan was.
“Middle o’ my Ass!”
Beware of those who offer “compromise” or “let’s find a solution somewhere in the middle.”
Continue reading ““Middle o’ my Ass!””Feariness
Fear is born of irrationality and ignorance goading each other in the darkness of your mind.
Continue reading “Feariness”Paleo
My version of the Paleo Diet includes the possibility of cannibalism.
Parasites
Our world should not be a good place for the growth of weeds which require strangling others to live.
I am not talking about plants.
The Self-Interest of a God
I dunno for sure, but if some sort of god made itself flesh and then proceeded to torture and kill itself in a gruesome way as a favor to others, I’d be steering clear of that weird shit.
Continue reading “The Self-Interest of a God”“Laws, yes!”
I am exploring the hypothesis that laws do not prevent people from doing horrible things. Fear of the punishments do.
Continue reading ““Laws, yes!””Who’s Really Winning…?
“You are poor because you made bad choices” is a fairy story sold by people who don’t want you to look at their books.
It is massively to their advantage to convince people that being rich and being poor are a result of personal choice.
The Cigarette Solution just might work!
Remember that thing that parents did, when they caught us smoking, and said “you wanna smoke, then let’s go crazy!” and they made you smoke twenty or fifty cigarettes until you puked tar and realized it was a shitty idea?
Continue reading “The Cigarette Solution just might work!”Heroes be damned?
If you plan to dispose of or dismiss people, one of the marginally more clever tools is to start out calling them “heroes.” It makes the disposal super effective, because you can call it “sacrifice.”
Continue reading “Heroes be damned?”“…or get out of the way”
I think it’s totally legit that if a leader threatens you if you investigate him, that you absolutely must investigate him.
If you want to follow someone worth a damn, find the person who is not only open, but encourages people to check their work.
It’s Money-Related
Just a reminder — the only reason US citizens don’t have mutual equal access to the best medical care and education available on the planet is because someone is benefiting from having a large portion of citizens essentially stupid and disposable.
Continue reading “It’s Money-Related”Waste Not, Want Not
Just a little reminder to anyone who might have forgotten:
Unless you are talking about lowering yourself into a pit toilet, the phrase you’re probably hoping to use is “waist-high,” not “waste-high.”
Continue reading “Waste Not, Want Not”Bringing Balance to the Passive-Aggressive Force?
I think it’s significant that so many people are bizarrely willing to support a “devil’s advocate” as if this is some sort of valid position and yet no such energy is offered to the good-side advocate. The “angel’s advocate,” if you will.
Continue reading “Bringing Balance to the Passive-Aggressive Force?”Kitty Bites
Post-mortem predation for dogs won’t start for several days — they have to be pretty desperate.
Post-mortem predation for cats starts within the first 24 hours of death.
Continue reading “Kitty Bites”Haruspicy
I would not say that I believe in reading entrails to ascertain whether or not the future is bright. That said, however, I think the future could be made brighter depending on whose entrails are selected.
These statements do not contradict each other.
But what if it does?!
Our culture seemingly worships the heroic/crazy notion of “Well, it might NOT work, but if it does, wouldn’t that be great? Sure, the odds are long, but let’s roll the dice! Don’t tell me the odds, let’s just do it because it should be done, because it’s right and just and heroic — even if we fail, the work is good. We are a team and that means we help each other, we don’t leave a teammate behind, we act together, we play together, we drill together, we are a team. As long as we are a team, as long as we all look out for each other, then we will win. We might not win the cup, but we’ll win friendship. We might not win the prize, but we’ll win our own self-respect. So, damn the odds, damn the faceless authority, damn all those who mock and crap on us. We might be underdogs, but we know that what matters is that we found each other, that we are a team, that we are moving forward!“
Continue reading “But what if it does?!”Trioxin
I am both a diver and a zombie movie fan, so when I try to remember “Nitrox,” and I instead keep remembering “Trioxin,” then that is a hilarious thing.
“Send more divers!”
Winning!
Most of us fantasize about fighting in the Great Zombie War. We just make assumptions about which team we’d be on.
Mysterious Unexplainable Clouds
All these “ideas” about how to keep bullets out of kids and other people who have not consented to having bullets put into them are starting to sound a lot like how to keep unwanted dicks out of people — treating both bullets and dicks as a kind of uncontrollable natural force.
Continue reading “Mysterious Unexplainable Clouds”Beautiful Horror
Sometimes there is extraordinary beauty in even the meanest of things.
It does not make the beauty less for its birth, nor the horrors better for their act of genesis.
It reminds us the Universe is more complex than we expected.
Painting the Door Hinge a Bright Shade of Orange
“Atheists can’t be trusted to operate morally,” basically means “If I weren’t being threatened by eternal damnation I’d be a complete bag of dicks, and I can’t imagine anyone else doing better than me at self-control, either.”
Continue reading “Painting the Door Hinge a Bright Shade of Orange”Three Basics for Multiple Partner Relationships
I have come to the notion that there’s a lot to be said for gratitude and for apologies and for kindness when it comes to multiple partner relationships.
If it helps any, awesome. If it doesn’t, also awesome.
Continue reading “Three Basics for Multiple Partner Relationships”